The Power Half-Hour

Sometimes my life feels so crazy, I literally wonder how I’ll make it through to the next minute. I’ve coined a new phrase for such times. I call it the “Power Half-Hour,” and it is a time during which all hell breaks loose in the house. By “all hell,” I mean everyone is seriously needy at the same time, and the neediness lasts for approximately half an hour. When I’m in the thick of a power half-hour, it feels like it’ll never end. I run around like a chicken with my head cut off, multi-task like a mad woman, and try to remember to breathe as I grind my teeth in frustration…or desperation. Even though power half-hours feel like they’ll never end, they’re always over in a flash. That’s when I sit down, take a lot of deep breaths, fan my shirt (because I’m always sweating by the end of it), and shake my head like “whoa” as I attempt to gather my thoughts.

Tonight I had my most intense power half-hour to date. I knew it was coming too. Linnea had taken a very short nap, which doesn’t bode well for her fuse. Joey was just out of sorts all day, and Eliza was…well, Eliza. She’s unpredictable, and she had taken to blasting extremely high-pitched screams very unpredictably all afternoon. To top it all off, Shane was out for happy hour. All these things were a recipe for disaster.

Joey lost it first in a very un-Joeylike way; he just started crying and wouldn’t stop unless I held him (and even then he was still whining). Eliza was trying to climb me and got really frustrated when she realized I wasn’t a mountain. Let the high pitched screams begin! That’s about when Linnea lost it. She was patient with Joey’s incessant crying, but Eliza’s piercing screams put her over the edge. At that point, Linnea needed my arms too. So, I put a crying Joey down, hugged Linnea and apologized for the insanity..and Joey crawled off at a rapid pace. I put a frustrated Linnea back down and went to retrieve Joey. When I returned with Joey, Linnea was luring Eliza up the stairs. Yes, Eliza was scaling the stairs. Unbelievable. I guess she found her mountain! This girl isn’t even 9 months old yet. Yikes. I put Joey back down and watched him crawl off toward some computer wires as I ran up the stairs to grab Eliza…and the retriever saga continued with on and off crying/screaming/whining coming from at least two children at a time.

So, I honestly don’t remember what I did with Linnea and Eliza while I fed Joey a bottle. I think I put Eliza in an exersaucer in the kitchen, and left Linnea downstairs watching Max and Ruby. Yeah, that’s exactly what I did. I also made sure to turn on the sound machine at full blast while I fed Joey, so he had peace while he ate and drifted off to sleep. Ahhh…one down. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. I got Linnea situated at the dinner table and popped Snow White into the portable DVD player. I had to give Eliza my car keys to keep her intermittent screams to a minimum while I prepared her dinner. Aaaaaand, the power half hour was over. Linnea was comfortable at the table and I was feeding Eliza. Things were fairly manageable again. Oh, and that’s about the time daddy walked through the door. Of course…

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